Brand New Ball Game

It's only been a week, but doesn't feel like it, more like a month. What a busy semester. When I told others that I'll take 3 subs, the reaction is "U siao ar, people only take 2, u take 3 for what." Initially I don't understand why, but after a week, I finally know why. Damn. Bang.

McD is finally operating in Kampar town, but it's small, dirty, bad service, etc. It's new, and seems to have good business everyday cause people were actually like 'McD lor, 1st in Kampar, some more can refill drinks non-stop, etc'. Totally sweat case, but however, I've been there 4 times just within a week. 2 times I went for meal, and twice just for sundae cone ONLY. I still prefer outside food, or just rather cook myself, for the sake of saving money, as I kinda spend over during beginning of the year when I went to Langkawi.

As for my studies, I take only 2 subs as I was forced to drop SFM cause of probation. Shit. Initial reaction my friends is like 'why you drop SFM, since you're weak in theory (HRM)?' Point taken, but I did do some math before making decision. It's true that I'm weak in theory and should drop it, but that also means I'm going to take it at January semester, which I'll have more sub & more stuff to memories. So, why don't I take it now, more time for it, and leave SFM for future, which I think I can handle it better.

Lots of my friends were dropping HRM, and I was like 'erhhhh', why?? One of the answer is "SFM is major ma, HRM is elective". Erm, so?? U still have to complete it before you graduate right?? Hmm....perhaps we just got different point of view, gotta accept it, as it's you taking, not me. Further more, I'm only behind one sub, not 2 like others. Let it be, let time tells.

That's still some bad news. 1st is I heard that, a friend whom is an expert in memorizing, got a D in HRM, gosh, damn it. Expert also got D, how about me this semester?? Kinda got a bit worried, but it's a different lead lecturer this sem, so, just see how it goes. This also indicate that I gotta double/triple or put more effort for this semester, or else, it'll be like wasting money. 2nd thing, out of no where, I dropped my ID, sucks. Until today, I didn't found it nor receive a phone call indicating someone found my ID or something. Arghhh. So nerve racking, hope to get it back by this week, or else I need to spend RM25 for a replacement. Imagine how many meals I can get just with this amount. Haish, hope to get it back.

It's kinda late, gotta sleep earlier for 8am class later, till then....

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Disaster

'Candidacy to continue under probation'.... I feel like slamming my lappie, but I know it's not worth it. Semester by semester, my results or CGPA is getting better, compared to most of the people whom are still dropping, yet their results are always better than mine. One thing I should be grateful of is that I didn't fail, but got 3 D's, causing the probation. Damn it.

Everything gets worse this semester, and I don't know why. Attitude?? Such a disaster. No use crying over the split milk, what done is done. Appeal? Confirm not worth it.

The issue now is which subject should I drop, as I'll only have 6 credit hours left for next semester, shoot!!! Worst results ever in my entire life. Should I choose SFM, which I have more confidence in, or HRM, a theory and a hard core subject?? These 2 has it's own pros and cons, I'll still take IT, cause I don't like to have more than one computer subjects for next next sem.

Oh gosh!!!! Fuck. Which subject to drop? Hard decision to make. Arghh.

Till then

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Sem Break

Has been almost a month since the last post, so....time to update myself here....let's see. I wanna talk about what I do at the day after the last fucking Performance Management paper. Bunch of us went for cinema- Resident evil after life, dinner, bowling, supper. Hmm, I love it when I got the chance to play, ease my mind and distract myself from thinking of the last paper, which is damn confusing.

It also has been kinda long time since the last time I went out with bunch of people going for fun. Kinda relaxing and big spending too, sob sob T.T..... Never really care about the money I spent till recently, cause finally I'll have financial problem as I overspent. But I guess, just cope with it, try to safe a little here & there, bla bla bla.....

Alright, I'll just skip n go to when I'm finally home. Lovely home sweet home. The truth is, I was shock when I reach home, we got a big ass 47 inches LCD TV. Damn. Cost about RM6.5k+. Wow, why in hell the TV is changed, since mommy already got a LCD TV in her room, just smaller. Well, might have lottery or something, don't care, cause it's SO MUCH FUN to watch in this size of screen. One word, HEAVEN.

That's how I spent 1st week of holiday, TV all day long with a big ass screen. XD Just during the weekend, I met some friends in our secondary school to visit our scout juniors. One word, DISASTER. How in hell they can operate in this way nowadays?? And the person in charge are on the other side, chatting with girl guides n kepo in their activities. DAMN IT. For sure they will know the word DISCIPLINE from me, when I'm attending the coming Special Training Camp, Gunung Jerai, end of November.

Talking about this, I'm totally in mood, and really look forward as this camp is designed for the Form 3's, to prepare them for next year, when they are becoming committee. From rumours, I heard that this batch has better potential, but it'll have to depend how they perform later. Just don't understand why kids nowadays are so spoon-feed, even when they call themselves scout. Hello?? This is Keat Hwa Scout, not other school, such a shame seeing them performing in this way.

What else.....Hmm....Oh ya, Movie day at Sg. Petani Village Mall. Watch The Legend of Garhoole and Wall Street, totally 2 different type of story line, but I do enjoy both. Kinda new experience for me to watch 2 movies in one day, but it's fun. XD We also do explore around the town for food, and damn, there's one stall, the laksa is damn nice n delicious, wish I can taste it again in future.

That's it for this entry, post up more update later.

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

FIGHT

Came across a few blog entries, about family, friends, problem, vacation, outings and studies. Going to have my 2nd paper, Auditing at 2pm. Yet I'm still writing blog, well, just to relax a while and motivate myself to push harder. Make the BEST out of myself.

Having good grades brings a lot of stuff. At home, you can get anything you want, parents will not nag you, go anywhere, spend a lot n etc. Since this semester, mommy doesn't nag me that much anymore, cause I score 3.0 last term, but still I have that kind of pressure somewhere. Firstly is because of the mid-term results. Secondly, wanted to be better and have better grades. etc

Gosh, auditing is such a nerve racking subject. I worried the most about this subject, cause you see... To answer law, you can still copy it from the statue and will get at least half of the marks. Performance and AFA, still can work on those calculations. This??? Perhaps wish for some luck, the ability to bull logically at the exam paper and have good timing when answering the question.

Well, as I have written and paste these quotes on my wall.

NEVER GIVE UP/NEVER SAY DIE

STAY FOCUS

MAKE THE BEST OUT OF MYSELF

So, time to FIGHT and must score well in this paper.

-yEvoN_Dutch-

-改变- CHANGE

“够力咯”。。。这三个字足以描述我现在的心情与状况。

怎么说呢？ 很简单，答案就在于自己过分的自信和自大。

这让我想回上个学期约week 7 或 8 的时候，受到挺大的打击。 若没记错，应该是mid term的分数太低， 差点就不及格了。那时都不知怎么搞的，从那天起就差不多每天都往library去读书。一读，就读到final去了。就这样，上个sem的成绩，虽然没考到First Honor,但也考得不错哦。看到自己的成绩是，也感到很欣慰，毕竟终于，看到自己的成果。^^

应该就是这样吧，现在感觉自己，人不像人，鬼不像鬼。或许是有点太夸张，但却觉得如此。都已经是week 10了，却一点点紧张，害怕的心情都没。嗨，应该是过于的自信吧，读书的态度都是得过且过，临时抱佛脚。想起来，自己都想打自己一顿呐。

考Auditing竟然可以考到脸都青，看到题目手都阵，写的答案也是凭空想象。接着就是Company Law。明明就把所有重点背了，但写的时候竟然头脑一片空白，记一些忘记一些，想起来，感觉自己真行呀。Performance Management 叻，更劲，方程式(formula)都会记 错。自己明明在计算方面占优势的，现在呢？呸！AFA 1&2, 第一张，要怪就怪自己上个是不听课。Lecturer上课时所教的‘废话’，竟然是重要的部分，但考试的程度是有点难，所以真的是无话可说。第二张，比起上一张，却是简单了很多。说实在的，只要有复习和回答是细心点，这张纸，根本就是在送分。这一回，送分，我还给他discount，因为至少30分都已经回馈给他了。

这一切一切已经成了定局，再也改变不了。唯一能改变的，就是我的读书方式和态度。记得妈妈曾经说过，不要盲目的跟着别人的脚步或方式，因为适合他人，不一定适合自己。在这，不是要责怪任何人，只是我早就该看穿着一切一切。又不是没经历过，但就是不懂得做好措施。看见其他人repeat，就告诉自己不要fail, 因为repeat，好辛苦呀。我这个人真是有口说人，没口说自己。会告诉朋友不好好读书就会要repeat, 自己却正在慢慢的搭上这条不归路。repeat不是钱的问题，而是时间，面子与态度的问题。

临夜才读书，看来是确实的非常的不适合我。这种方式，只适合在做最后冲刺时在有效。还是像当初一样，坐在library的某个角落，专心的读书。口渴了，就去喝口水，肚子饿了，就去吃东西，有三急，就到厕所解决。虽然只是简单的动作和概念，却带来很大的意义。大老远来到这里读书，就是为了考好成绩嘛。

是时候戒掉平时糜烂的生活习惯，回到正常的读书生活。也是时候睡醒了。 该做出改变啦。希望 “亡羊而补牢，未为迟也”，可以应在我身上。

-改变- CHANGE

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Harvey Two Face - Part 1

Harvey Two Face, one of the main character in Batman, which is topic for my blog entries. The message here is, everything have two sides or more, so just don't stay in one side, and never look at the other side.

During the last short semester, I recalled that there were more presentations than mid term test, which freak me out in the 1st week itself, as I hated and scared presentations. However, that semester is relaxing, and I score quite well. In the contrast, I have no presentations at all, but there'll be test to cover it. Initially I was happy, but turn out that somehow I prefer assignment + presentations, as I will learn more, rather than just studying whole day long.

Tests since week 7, from AFA, Auditing, Law & PM, and I'll be having AFA test 2 soon. Damn it. These lecturers are just expert in torturing students. When you know how to do, time is limited; when you don't, there are plenty of time for you, and facial expression turn to pale and green. How ironic. Hope that I won't have this for my coming test, I'll faint!!!

For some reason, friends just love to ask me to sit beside them, depending on me, some kind of stuff. *hahahahaha* I know what you're thinking, some just wanted some sense of calm & safety, while some really wanted to glance. But....you know what..... Glance as much as you want, cause I'm not even confident in my answers....Bottom line, just DON'T make us get caught together and DON'T disturb me.

Seriously, cheat in the exam hall?? What you're thinking?? Having free pass all the way to graduation, that's easy for you. But then, just cheat as much as you can, I don't think you can really cheat all the way to graduation, cause I know you won't, you'll get the karma, just wait. A Uni student cheating in exam hall, I have nothing much to say, will only curse you failing those 4 credit hours and assignment subjects, that enough. Cursing is enough.

Expressing one's dissatisfaction towards another is normal, but there are some people thinking that it is a problem. Seriously?? what's the problem of just speaking out your freaking asshole mind. Too much gold in your mouth is it?? So pathetic, childish, just can't give absolute answer. Gosh....

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Up, Down, Left, Right

Few years back, my auntie go to some kind of event to learn fortune-telling (算命). Well, of course she utilizes her 'ability' and tell what our fate are based on our birth dates. For me personally, of course I only remember some negative stuff as that's what I'm interested in. One of it is, I will not have many friends in my life, I guess it has much to do with my personality and attitude which not many people understand me.

For the whole week 8, I'm being pissed off by a few d***ass which don't know that they are really pain in the ass. OMG Don't they sense something is wrong?? Alright, here goes the issues...

There are lots of seats, can't u just sit else where, so that I can place my stuff??

and....Don't ever do the same thing twice!! It's not your seat....Shit

Use your brain to think, don't send me rubbish text...

Please use some U level English...Don't use super low class Manglish.....

Don't make ppl do the job twice, read+ analysis before copy....

Come on, act like guy, stop acting innocent...

Don't tell stuff halfway, acting like you know lots of secret..Bull shit

Get a mirror for yourself, got face problem k??

Don't make me repeat the sentence....

If you ask me Q, I'll generously find the A for you, but please use ur eyes to see, ur brain to think, ,don't ask me back the Q again!!!

These are part of what I face last week, and finally got burst yesterday, when I'm in boiling point. I just don't understand how their brain function, till the point that they can just do these thing so naturally. Curse them!! Hope their meet same species of people in future, so that they'll know how we feel. If I can, I don't wish to be with them anymore. Just nerve racking... they make me show my worst attitude out, damn it.

I come across a few blog entries these few days, quite shocking when I saw the content. Blogging is good, as you can some part of people that normally not shown daily in their faces often. Maybe because of assign., I really can't stand it when I saw people use those low life manglish, come on, use some proper english. Wrong spelling or short form is ok, but don't ever ever use some alien language that only you alien can understand. Don't even know how to differentiate or use 'them'/'they', I think you can jump into Westlake or dig your own grave, cause there lots of graves in the main entrance into Kampar New Town.

For certain people, I just don't know what they are thinking. Honestly, I'm worry for the sanity both your future partner and u, u might just end up torturing yourself. If you don't share your feelings, how the hell people going to know you?? Now I seriously need a mirror, those that can reflect people's true personality. I'm sick of fakers and idiots whom are so **** about everything.

Well, that's me. Don't care u like or not, read this entry or not. Just like what my friend told me moments ago about Shakespeare, 'life is like a stage, where everyone act differently everyday', *something like this* . I might look just like how you thought I am, but don't trust your eyes, they only show exterior, not interior. I'm actually acting normal, it's abnormal in interior.

-That's me-

-yeEvoN_Dutch-