A Pain In the Ass

'What a pain in the ass', a term that I've been like to use these few days, cause I really really can relate it to what is happening around me these days.

I've never been this stressed before, just for no reason, I feel like I'm gonna bust out, hitting stuff, saying some bad words. In short, it's my negative side, and frankly,I don't like it, it sucks. What can I do to reduce these? Hmmph...I really have no idea. Like my friend told me, sleep, eat, jump, sport, watch show, hang out, talk, yumcha, these will be the way to reduce tension, and a way not to show the negative side.

Gonna have a presentation this evening, not much preparation is done, cause basically I'm just presenting what I've done, not really a big deal. For some reason, I'm not worried about how I present, or how I manage it, I think I can just go through my own part peacefully, although I always get very very nervous when I'm standing in front. Hopefully it goes well.

However, I somehow got a vision or feeling that something funny gonna happen, and I'll just burst out, right in front of everybody, and it involves 2 person. Damn, it's just a strong feeling that something bad or funny gonna take place, but I don't want that to happen. It's just frustrating, for some reason, and what a pain in the ass.

Alright, it's late night, still got lots of stuff to do. Hopefully it just go on smoothly.

Till then

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Ignorance is Bliss

When someone tells you something, if you don't like it, just fucking tell people that you don't like it. But sometimes you can't just do that, you gotta think what will happen then.

Perhaps I'm reckless and spitting out words that I shouldn't said, but the point is, I'm only speaking what is in my mind. Which most of the time, I have no idea how to do it. Well, easier said than done.

Have it ever occur that you just stand aside, and watch certain dramas that occurs on you friends, on you just sit/ stand there, just look and see. It's fun doing that, cause you're out of it, and could just make some comments, which will not harm you in any way possible. However, when you're in, you just wish that you're out of it. Damn.

It's a situation where you just does not want to be in, especially in a time like this. Assignments, presentations, finals, and FYP on the line. A lot of variables to be considered, which makes me think that ignorance is bliss. Sometimes, I think that it's a test of endurance, patient and friendship. I just need to go through this tough time.

It's tough you know, having to cope with all these. Having people that don't really speak out their mind, having people that just act selfishly for no reason, having people that thinks they have dragged your ass through everytime, family, results and others. I only want a simple and peaceful life, not full of dramas and faking. It's tiring, draining every fibre and brain tissue, and also the emotional problems.

What can I do?? Probably just ignore, and do my own thing, which I should do since ages ago. Hanging out, do some crazy stuff, back to hometown, eat, sleep, sports, and anything that could release all the tension, and pump in more positive energy.

Till then

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Karma's a Bitch!!

I've always love watching Survivor from CBS, whereby I always relate what happen in the game, with the lifestyle I'm having right now. In season 20, the combo of Russell and Parvati has been taking on everyone's nerve, in short, juries hate them. And uhh....I just found a combo of them, which I've name "Parsell".

This Parsell has really on my nerve for more than a month now, as I looked as a dumbass for the incident that happened. Being in university means we gotta act like an adult, and be responsible for what we have done. For no reason, Parsell just act like a child, taking no responsibility, taking on people's nerve, and make enemies to everyone. I mean like, REALLY??

I don't care if you have seen this, but like you said, I DON'T CARE, same here with me. If you can do anything, I can too. I'm just a friend, not family.

For the company name, I do think that we may have done wrong. Perhaps people does write it down before us, as they have people to prove that. Their group is at the other corner, it may be our fault or negligence for not seeing that in the first place. Alright, 3 of us agree to change the name, as we hardly even found any info on it. You disagree, as we thought you have start your part, fine, we go over and discuss with them. In the end, both sides disagrees and have to draw lot.

We have won back the company, but had made an enemy to them, and also causes one of us to lose them as friends, maybe forever. How selfish is that act? What were you thinking? Do you realize the consequences of what had happen? Well, I do not live in your stomach or brain, so I don't know what you were thinking. And, I don't think you ever care anything, cause the way you handle your event proves a lot to me.

As time pass, it's time to pass up the assignments, and guess what, you have said that you have done nothing at all. What the hell is that? It's week 9 and you haven't do anything? Where is the logic of this whole thing. So, it makes things clear that you only go after the company for not wanting to lose on anything. That is very reckless, irresponsible and very selfish. What the fuck. What's the big deal on finding another company, it's not like it will take a month. Just a few days maximum. Making enemy to others without reason.

Whatever you do, fine. But DON'T EVER EVER mix my stuff with your's. I didn't choose the part, it's determined by drawing lots. Don't forget what you said, 'anything is fine with me'. Don't just think your part is the hardest, just think how you want to complete your part in time. Shit. Furthermore, your part has caused inconvinience to our editor. Don't complain about what you cannot find or cannot do, if people can do it, why don't you?

A lots of stuff is not being said, but does not mean it didn't occur or anything. Maybe you'll think like, 'why don't you tell me'. Really?? Will you listen in the first place? Perhaps you'll also think 'who are you to say or judge me like that', we do have. Just put yourself in our shoes before you said that.

Let's just say that, Karma's a real bitch, it bites you back. Damn

Year of Rabbit, 2011

It's been a semester + a few months, since I updated my blog. Finally I got mood to conteng conteng here again. Oh crap, what should I write 1st...???

Hmm, just start with the title, year of rabbit. For me and other horsey as well, it seems to be kinda of a good year, although we 犯太岁this year. The same thing happen last year, but this year will be a little bit better and peaceful. Read and browse through those articles, web pages and blogs about this year prospect, I can conclude that this year will have a wealth fortune (which i doubt as i'm jz student), get a bf (wonder when i get one *blush*) and a little success on career (my case is studies). These are just a few of the good things, does not want to mention those bad stuff, cause I hate that.

This semester starts out quite well for me, peacefully until I had some shock from a phone call, so to say that my past is haunting me. Money and family problems. Got a phone call from mom, talking about results and will not get PTPTN loan this sem, and the story goes. Haven't told anyone about this, just wanna keep on my own, and act as a motivation to prevent the same thing from happening again. For study part, assignments, forming groups, adopting strangers, boring classes and useless lecturers, as usual. I'll talk more on this for the next blog.

And uhh..did I mention this? I got a car...muahahhhahhaa...but just for a month. I got it because uncle left earlier and I could not get a freaking bus ticket on the 4th day of CNY. Anyway, I don't want a bus ticket as I don't want to trap in a uncomfortable seat for hours, about 10-12 hours cause of super duper heavy traffic jam in PLUS highway. Even I need 7 hours of driving, using emergency lane, during half of the journey. It was moment of madness, frustration, worrying the fuel when I start using the emergency lane. Good thing is I did not get into trouble nor accident. *Poof* *Relief*

Just had a reunion dinner with bunch of frens few days ago, it's went on pretty good,other than we waited for 1 hour, because the waitress put our order on hold, as there are some people who just does not have sense of manners and ethics, which is so Malaysian style. Whatever. Overall, the food taste good, and not very expensive. XD

Then, our supposing-ly girls night out become group nights out. Could not get certain individual spill out stories, yet got some extra news. Amanda and Jason, just too much problems between those two, not really wanna get involve. Hope those 2 can come to a conclusion soon, to reduce tension. Not just that, she even asked to join in our FYP group. WHAT?? That's really freaking me out. I was like err...err.... we'll see, just wait and see. Not a really good place to comment on this right now. *sweat*

More on next blog

Till then

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Brand New Ball Game

It's only been a week, but doesn't feel like it, more like a month. What a busy semester. When I told others that I'll take 3 subs, the reaction is "U siao ar, people only take 2, u take 3 for what." Initially I don't understand why, but after a week, I finally know why. Damn. Bang.

McD is finally operating in Kampar town, but it's small, dirty, bad service, etc. It's new, and seems to have good business everyday cause people were actually like 'McD lor, 1st in Kampar, some more can refill drinks non-stop, etc'. Totally sweat case, but however, I've been there 4 times just within a week. 2 times I went for meal, and twice just for sundae cone ONLY. I still prefer outside food, or just rather cook myself, for the sake of saving money, as I kinda spend over during beginning of the year when I went to Langkawi.

As for my studies, I take only 2 subs as I was forced to drop SFM cause of probation. Shit. Initial reaction my friends is like 'why you drop SFM, since you're weak in theory (HRM)?' Point taken, but I did do some math before making decision. It's true that I'm weak in theory and should drop it, but that also means I'm going to take it at January semester, which I'll have more sub & more stuff to memories. So, why don't I take it now, more time for it, and leave SFM for future, which I think I can handle it better.

Lots of my friends were dropping HRM, and I was like 'erhhhh', why?? One of the answer is "SFM is major ma, HRM is elective". Erm, so?? U still have to complete it before you graduate right?? Hmm....perhaps we just got different point of view, gotta accept it, as it's you taking, not me. Further more, I'm only behind one sub, not 2 like others. Let it be, let time tells.

That's still some bad news. 1st is I heard that, a friend whom is an expert in memorizing, got a D in HRM, gosh, damn it. Expert also got D, how about me this semester?? Kinda got a bit worried, but it's a different lead lecturer this sem, so, just see how it goes. This also indicate that I gotta double/triple or put more effort for this semester, or else, it'll be like wasting money. 2nd thing, out of no where, I dropped my ID, sucks. Until today, I didn't found it nor receive a phone call indicating someone found my ID or something. Arghhh. So nerve racking, hope to get it back by this week, or else I need to spend RM25 for a replacement. Imagine how many meals I can get just with this amount. Haish, hope to get it back.

It's kinda late, gotta sleep earlier for 8am class later, till then....

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Disaster

'Candidacy to continue under probation'.... I feel like slamming my lappie, but I know it's not worth it. Semester by semester, my results or CGPA is getting better, compared to most of the people whom are still dropping, yet their results are always better than mine. One thing I should be grateful of is that I didn't fail, but got 3 D's, causing the probation. Damn it.

Everything gets worse this semester, and I don't know why. Attitude?? Such a disaster. No use crying over the split milk, what done is done. Appeal? Confirm not worth it.

The issue now is which subject should I drop, as I'll only have 6 credit hours left for next semester, shoot!!! Worst results ever in my entire life. Should I choose SFM, which I have more confidence in, or HRM, a theory and a hard core subject?? These 2 has it's own pros and cons, I'll still take IT, cause I don't like to have more than one computer subjects for next next sem.

Oh gosh!!!! Fuck. Which subject to drop? Hard decision to make. Arghh.

Till then

-yeEvoN_Dutch-

Sem Break

Has been almost a month since the last post, so....time to update myself here....let's see. I wanna talk about what I do at the day after the last fucking Performance Management paper. Bunch of us went for cinema- Resident evil after life, dinner, bowling, supper. Hmm, I love it when I got the chance to play, ease my mind and distract myself from thinking of the last paper, which is damn confusing.

It also has been kinda long time since the last time I went out with bunch of people going for fun. Kinda relaxing and big spending too, sob sob T.T..... Never really care about the money I spent till recently, cause finally I'll have financial problem as I overspent. But I guess, just cope with it, try to safe a little here & there, bla bla bla.....

Alright, I'll just skip n go to when I'm finally home. Lovely home sweet home. The truth is, I was shock when I reach home, we got a big ass 47 inches LCD TV. Damn. Cost about RM6.5k+. Wow, why in hell the TV is changed, since mommy already got a LCD TV in her room, just smaller. Well, might have lottery or something, don't care, cause it's SO MUCH FUN to watch in this size of screen. One word, HEAVEN.

That's how I spent 1st week of holiday, TV all day long with a big ass screen. XD Just during the weekend, I met some friends in our secondary school to visit our scout juniors. One word, DISASTER. How in hell they can operate in this way nowadays?? And the person in charge are on the other side, chatting with girl guides n kepo in their activities. DAMN IT. For sure they will know the word DISCIPLINE from me, when I'm attending the coming Special Training Camp, Gunung Jerai, end of November.

Talking about this, I'm totally in mood, and really look forward as this camp is designed for the Form 3's, to prepare them for next year, when they are becoming committee. From rumours, I heard that this batch has better potential, but it'll have to depend how they perform later. Just don't understand why kids nowadays are so spoon-feed, even when they call themselves scout. Hello?? This is Keat Hwa Scout, not other school, such a shame seeing them performing in this way.

What else.....Hmm....Oh ya, Movie day at Sg. Petani Village Mall. Watch The Legend of Garhoole and Wall Street, totally 2 different type of story line, but I do enjoy both. Kinda new experience for me to watch 2 movies in one day, but it's fun. XD We also do explore around the town for food, and damn, there's one stall, the laksa is damn nice n delicious, wish I can taste it again in future.

That's it for this entry, post up more update later.

-yeEvoN_Dutch-