Another week has gone, a very critical week. My plan has long off the path since Tuesday. Why? I don't how to say it, just purely fed up. I guess when you have put it up until certain level, you just do not know how to deal with it when it overflow. Purely disappointed with myself. Pure disappointment.
Why is there such type of people. Not serious in doing their job, talk crap all the time, on top of that, the quality produced. Crap with colleagues occasionally is alright, but hey, do your job ok. Make sure you are doing your job while you crap. Now you are a crap. Guess I finally understand why Garret won't allow trainees to assist him, only will guide them, that's the maximum. The quality produce is a total disaster.
First of all, when someone tell you to amend your stuff, my god, just go ahead and amend it. I mean, I won't ask you to amend unless unnecessary. But in the end, what did you do? Let's see, amended but feels like it is still the same, did not write the adjustment inside the working paper, and plug it the wrong figure. WHAT THE FUCK is this. Nearly 2 months of training, still got such mistakes. Totally unacceptable. But what can I say, I am the person in charge, I should bear all the responsibilities. You know what, just....nevermind, just my luck to have such stupid assistants. Better don't tell them all these complaints in front of them. Who knows? One day, they maybe better than me, become my superior or manager. Life is this funny. Just bear with it I guess.
As I was on the brink of breaking down, which I did not really show it out, which is just sit at there, giving no expression, and just do my work, and almost zero talk. Then here comes my senior. He explains everything about why assigning trainees to assist me and stuffs, then I realize that yeah, it does makes a point. Being in house file gives me more time to do my job, and at the mean time, also test on my knowledge, tactics and the way I deal + guide trainees. Just reverse the situation, what if this is my first outside file, having 2 trainees under me. One thing for sure, I will sure burst into my boiling point and become mad, crazy, abnormal. In short, this is another type of training he planned for me. But hey bro, next time, don't give 2, just one ok, cause one is quite enough.
What else. I think there is something funny, funny vibe going between him and Jenz, cause he keep on saying stuff like his audit career in MR is kinda too smooth, as he always have good assistant assisting him in doing files. Well, I don't really know about that, but ever since I join, yeah, he always have good assistant, either in house or outside audit. But I thought you planned that for him, so why do you complain about this now? Kind of slapping yourself in the face dude. Then, saying that Jenz have difficulty in outshining others, I think it might be coming from the rumours, saying that Jenz telling others that he is going to be a senior soon. Probably about people resigning and him having chance to get the senior post.What ever, I do not know.
I think Jenz also have some being too self conscious problem, just look at his current Teow Joo file, me and him, we kinda having same problem of wiping people's ass. His problem could actually linked with mine, cause the way my assistant do her job, is a product of his assistant guidance. Drawing filthy brackets, uncoordinated, work done, bad presentations n etc, almost similar pattern. Jenz saying about not having the power to tell his assistant about his mistake, but hey, aren't you the fucking SIC, more experience than him and all. Come on, don't worry about position, just worry about your ability. Speechless.
I don't know whether I'm thinking too much or something, but I got a feeling that Garret try to push me up, very up, probably higher or same wit Jenz, within Group D of course. We still got 2 members, but one is associated with LEH, which he kind of dislike, while another is still under probation until this month, so just see how things patch up.
One of the thing that bugs me is I lost the chance to go to Peking Hotel for outside audit. Awhhhh....disappointed, I thought I had it in my bag, going for that during December, after my exam. Once I heard Steven and Lee Ming go for that, it was like thunderstorm for me, then I got to know that it was reserved for me, just that the audit period is during my study leave, so, no choice, I can't go. Still until now, I do not know if I am the SIC if I go to Peking Hotel, cause Garret kind of hinted, but the more I think, the more it becomes illogical. Cause obviously, there is still other people that haven't got chance to become SIC (first outside in charge), how can mine be so fast? People waiting in the line is Philip, Lee Ming and Yi Hong, there's 3, how is it possible that I could jump into the queue, sure got people complaining, have comment. Anyway, I no longer have to chance.
Priority now is study full power for P2, and settle partly of GY, pain in the ass product. Lots of damage control. That will be it.
Until then,
-yeEvoN-Dutch-
