Am I just a soldier - Part III

What now, that we're just part of your armies? One of the soldiers under your wing? Jeez. I'm frustrated. I'm not sure whether my earlier hunch is right or not. Firstly, regarding EAE F&F. I got a hunch from Garret that he want me to be the person in charge, cause he says he plan to delay, until we're back from exam leave, but it'll be too late by then. So, nothing can be done, and wrong timing, I didn't get to go to interim. Maybe finals, but we'll see how things goes.

Second, me finally got a chance to be promoted to 'Sergeant' as well. It happens when G asked whether I got an increment of salary, out of nowhere, cause he never asked me that. Then, days later, Philip got promoted. Hmm.. my guess is, he thought I was going to get promoted as well. Sigh, maybe not now, maybe during Chinese New Year, hopefully, hope it is earlier. But, it could be he asked others as well, not just me. 

With current situation, me playing with fire, by leaving such mess with CKPF, some mess with ESE (no big deal) and Pacific World (not under my control/expectation), I wasn't sure if I were to have any more chance now. It does break my heart, a whirl on my emotion, makes me think, 'Am I just a soldier', where people can just assign or order you to do stuff, a secondary officer, upmost. Yet again, being seconder and stuff, it exist last cycle, and G sees through me. This time, I don't know how to deal with it. It sucks.

I'm tired of this, started to lose passion, like my work is not being appreciated. I did my best in work, communicated well with clients for work, speedy work, did not really make fool, or have fool in office. I mean, I did, but controllable. I did the best that I can, still, I feel like I was treated like thrash. Instead of pushing others, asking others to do their best. Urghh. 

I can never forget the reaction, when I passed my leave form to you. Jeez, asked to stay for another day, cause everyone's going EAE, and office needs to have someone. Aren't those people that did not participate in EAE not human? Not enough to handle, and also 'you haven't cleared all you stuff'. Damn, I hate that sentence. Logically, no one can 100% cleared their stuff before on leave, stupid.

So, what I do, I play around fire, purposely not clearing all my queries, and I just do what I want. And also, not submitting files, leaving messes and problems for others. So what, since what I've done is not very much appreciated, so yeah, I'm going to send a reminder to people. I don't care, whatever. Since during May/June, same old things done by others, and you did not react much, so yeah, I'm doing what others are doing. So what, others can, I can't? This is ridiculous. Or maybe I think too highly of myself, giving myself too much credit, nahhh, I'm just being ridiculous, did not live up to people's expectation.

Anyway, what done is done, I had my revenge. -evilly grinned- Alright, all is good, that I've bitch enough here, time to get back to my studies, still got loads to go. Should focus, stay focus, right now, that's all I can do. 

Study smart. FOCUS!!

Till then,

-yeEvoN_Dutch-