What if....what if???

It has been going for a while now, 'what if it does happen? what if it does really happen? How should I do or react by then?' I haven't told anyone about it, cause I don't think it'll make any point or any difference at all, up to this point.

Being off from work nearly 3 weeks, man, that's kinda fun. Pretty much care about nothing other than your studies, that's the fun and also tortures part. Hmm.. how should I begin. Last 2 times when I was off for study leaves, some stuff happens. Both time is kinda shocker actually, in which I thought over and over again, the opportunity could be mine if if I weren't off. First up would be first outside audit, I mean, when you work until certain level, you will want things. Well, due to exam, I missed the one that is actually booked for me. Then I found out there's another case, and I missed it, passed up the opportunity, for someone that is somehow a wee bit junior than me. I mean, we came in about the same time, just time I'm permanent with 3 months industrial training, while she's just a trainee. However, people don't view things that way heh, they see her as a star, bright star, good potential junior, while me, not the same case.

Second time would be last exam, I found out she got to lead an outstation case. Damn it, outstation, I actually thought it was mine, but yet, so near yet so far, not mine. That's when things got tricky and funny. So what now, is this some kind of serious warning not to underestimate people. Well yeah, I never underestimate this one, until that outstation case, although later there's ESE & CTM in which I'm to lead to bigger one, has put me at ease, for a while. Just that not only files, cases can used to define person's ability, it includes other ability as well.

As mentioned in previous post, where out of nowhere, G asked whether I got a salary increment, which would mean the senior promotion, in which days later, Philip got promoted. That's when I got the hint. Well, not just kind of thing I want to miss out. With the help of cell phones and internet, I cannot be sure whether I was the only one asked, I mean, obviously, there's other two capable persons as well, ain't it. Though people once said I was on the line or something, well, times goes, things changes.

Recently, my salary is supposed to have increment, yet I don't. It could be very well mean, time is soon, company just wanna save that increment; or it could very well be I totally wrongly interpreted stuff, it was just an error. Nevertheless, I wonder what could actually happen? What if one of my competitor got promoted to senior during my absence? There's that.

I really have no idea how to react to this, I mean, this could way causes me to throw resignation letter. Seriously. Maybe I'll just fake a smile, congratulate, and continue my job. I mean, never had one person with slightly lower capability than me, have a higher post. Well, it does during Form 2, when one the girl got leader, while me just assistant. And, I don't really feel bad, by the time, and after that, she prove to deserve that position. Form 4, nah, I even got more and higher post in the committee board. 

Well, I prove to a fierce competitor, taking tough files like EAE Transport, Pacific World, CKPF, Passion Trading etc. While my 2 competitors, they're not weak as well, I mean Gemilang, PKM, ISS, Metro etc. Although I might seem a wee bit stronger, but things is changed and different when goes to the higher authority - the bosses. If my initial hunch was right, I was supposed to get promoted during October, along with Philip, but I guess they can't, I mean, there are reasons for 'not getting promoted', for many reasons. Obvious ones would be capability, seniority, as compared to Philip. 

This question has been going through my mind over and over again. It's not that simple for not getting promoted during October, there has to be some reasons, at least. Then another Q will be what if one of my competitor got promoted during my exam leave, I mean, things has happened before, I mean, shocker stuff, this is kind of a shocker as well. Gosh, I just wish to get this Q out of my head, at least until my exam is over, totally had no idea how am I going to react. Totally absurd.

Hopefully my initial hunch was right, about salary no increment and yet to promoted, then recent salary yet to increase, means about to promoted, me going to EAE F&F (initially) and stuff. Just hope thing will go my way. I mean, senior, salary increment, who doesn't want? It's a title, rise in status, pride and stuff.

Huhhhhhhhhh... gotta keep my head clear, FOCUS ON STUDIES ONLY!!!

Till then,

-yeEvoN_Dutch-